Screw up

I know its been a while, but I was busy with life. Well I guess I always take comfort writing here only when my life is down in the dumps, its theraputical. Ok this time I really screwed up, and hurt my self in the process. I have come to realize that a relation means more to me than it does to the other person. Y is it that its always me that comes out the worst of these situations. I mean can I not be unfeeling and not care. I hate doing this to myself all the time. I hate the fact that guys get over these "minor bimps" in life and get on with it. Wait let me guess they have their tear ducts surgically removed when they get out of junior high or maybe they have this magical switch which we don't get to see, that switches their emotions off at some point in life. I don't know. I have made mean hicups in life but this one was big and the person that hurt me expects me to get over it like its a broken finger nail. is it me or does it seem like I put in more emotion into the relationship then he did? Its so easy to say "get over it its been 2 months already" but I would I mean what I feel is not something that can be put into a box and shipped off to where ever broken hearts go. I mean there are books written on how to deal after a break up, what u should and shouldn't do. Then how can anyone say "get over it", who ever coined that phrase should be shot in the face. Ok maybe not shot, just be mean to him .