Is it just me?

or do I love drama. You tell me if I am making this up. My ex wanted to be friends and I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of letting him know how much it affected me to be friendly to him. I had questions that I wanted to talk about he would just tell me to take it like a man.( you know what I am not). I am starting to think I might not have liked what I was with him. I wasn't myself, I had become domestic. No I took interest in all things he liked but I was never considered( I was supported but he never took an interest, not even asked me a question, he would tell me to stop if I tried to explain), how did I think that it was perfect, NO I want someone who will more than support me. I want honesty but I also want openness. I could have left him a long time but I didn't have the heart. I loved being in a relationship the most. So the drama is that he complains that I don't talk to him as often well what exactly did he want me to do. I have a job and I have school and I don't have time for myself, I am not going to take time out of my schedule to talk to him. He thinks I am ignoring him on purpose, well conversation works both ways if you don't have anything to tell me then get the hell out of my life, I don't have time to waste on you or anything. My life is at a life and death situation I don't have time for you. If you really are my friend you would understand. I am sorry but you are my past and if you want to be my present then you need to play a more important role in my life, I need to be able to talk to you, not get responses like" life is good, nothing much happened in life" I understand that you don't go to school but even when you did you didn't have much to tell me. I cant carry a conversation with just myself I do that all the time I bore my self if you don't want to tell me anything in your life then don't expect me to work so hard to keep a relationship where you told me you don't want me. I understand I will let people walk all over me but it was very selfish of you to take advantage of me like that to help your own cause. You hurt me and I hate having my defenses broken down. if you are hurt as well why you cant tell me is beyond. i wish you wouldnt have called me your gf and just called me your friends with benifits. i can deal with that but a gf it was a little harder.i hope you are sorry that you caused me so much pain, you might never read it but its out there if you ever do you will understand.

Don't cling to your past. Ever. Don't cling to the comfort it may ensure or hide in the security it seems to promise. For there is always, always a reason, your past never made it to your future.

hmmm....

Ok so update on my life, not that its interesting. Well wait I heard some people do read my blog's how cool is that. Ok so a recap on the last episode of my life, still not over him. But I guess much better on the hurt feeling, though it creeps up once in a while. But right now I don't have time to think about it, or him for that matter. I am extremely busy making a life for myself. I am Turing a new leaf. How so you ask well let me count the ways:

• I gave up alcohol for lent. Yes my friend you heard it straight from the horses mouth. I gave up alcohol for 40 days and 40 nights. No I am not pulling anyone's leg I am not joking. Its true. But its not as bad as I though. I get to see everyone drunk and its hilarious. For once I get to be the person who tells you what happened the night before.(LOL)
• I am trying to get into shape. Cant really say much about that. I just wanted to do more than sit on my ass and be me all day I wanted to be the power women who can life weights as she is having a conversation about politics and economics of the international world. ( yes I am talking about me, the weights might be 2.5 lbs and the convo might only be limited to the countries of which I have some knowledge of but still I would feel empowered )
• my next thing is start working at school stuff. I really need to. Crunch time as you can tell. This is the time all students get graby about grades and extra credit like its an end-of-season sale at express. I swere I need to buckle down and study. no more of this parting and drinking for me. Oh no sir I am turning a new leaf. So I am going to do this
• next I am going to stop eating out and (*sob*..*snif*...*tear*) shopping. Yes I am going to stop shopping. I cant afford my extravagant lifestyle anymore( its not like I am a shop-a-holic, I just need to control how much of the greens I spend. I cant be too generous you see. No more of the justification that I can buy that as a gesture of good will to myself. Yeah no I need to set goals now. If I lose 5 lbs ill buy myself something good till then we shall see. I know my weight shouldn't be a tracker but I have packed on a pounds a little and my mother calls me fat so I guess its a sign

that's about it. Aspirations for me. Update about my life, I guess its to who ever is keeping track of the drama called "Anu's life".

PS: glad to have been entertainment.